we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
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