I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
ugly people sure do ruin things
she smelled like a LAN party
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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