please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
