somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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