What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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