I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
