There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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