Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Randomize
