I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
