do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
