Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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