and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
that's an acceptable place to lick
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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