if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
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