We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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