one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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