I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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