All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
