My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
