During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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