My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
We had sex on a dog bed..
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
