So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
