why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
It's blow job season.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
