HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
But break dance skills will only take you so far
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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