I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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