You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
