You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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