Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
