Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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