Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize