I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
