1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
