Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Randomize
