yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
