Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
You dont lie about slip and slides
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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