what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Boobs are out for the taking
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
