I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Randomize
