Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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