So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
