pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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