You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
