I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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