Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
We got so high we made milksteak
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
how does that bad decision feel?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
