some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Randomize
