My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
