Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize