xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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