Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
i now understand why vodka
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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