you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I will be naked everywhere
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
