Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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