so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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