real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
