I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Randomize
