make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
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