I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Randomize