You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
