Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
