my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
