His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
