I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
