Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize