but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
